Posted in humor

To Be Small Fish in Large Pond or Big Fish in Small Pond?

Browsing online, I see people ask one of the most important questions – is it better to be a small fish in a large pond or a big fish in a small pond? The popular opinion  – it is more desirable to be a small fish in a large pond.

Of course, it is hard to discern the truth when the matter is abstract and we talk about fish, so let us make it personal. Would you rather be a president/queen/king of a small country or a regular citizen in a great country like U.S.? Most of us would prefer to be a king! You can always visit U.S. and be treated like a royalty.

Let us take the argument a step further. Is it better to be the richest neighbor in the poorer neighborhood, or a poorest neighbor in the richer neighborhood? Just like in the example above, the right answer – it is better to be the richest neighbor in the poorer neighborhood. We are happy when we are content. We compare ourselves constantly with our peers. Living around much wealthier people will make you miserable and depressed. It will make you feel like a loser in comparison. Of course, there are always exceptions,  some of us enjoy pain.

Posted in humor

North Korea Just Wants to Be Famous, Be the “It Girl”

North Korea is one of the crappiest countries you can think of. I feel bad for its people. If the leader, the man who should not be named, decided to actually open his borders he would instantaneously find himself without subjects, as all his people would flee North Korea.

OK, so the man who should not be named wisely keeps the borders closed. North Koreans can not even imagine what the life is like in the developed world… or they might become dissatisfied with their leader; the man who should not be named thought of that too, and cut off his country from internet and any opportunity to learn about the world.

What if you really wanted to be famous and have everybody talking about you? North Korea does not produce anything worth mentioning, the life is tough and often the people go hungry. Nobody is interested in North Korea! The man who should not be named needs to keep his people in check. So, he introduced a lofty goal. Think Elon Mask and the migration to Mars. Oh, wait, it is not that. Think if North Koreans could challenge the biggest, strongest country in the world! Mission accomplished, suddenly you are the super star and everybody is talking about you. Wait, What? The biggest and strongest country is afraid??

What U.S. should do is to get prepared for everything… and then just ignore the little and inconsequential North Korea.

Posted in humor

When in Doubt… Do the Right Thing

Should I move to a different city? Should I find a new job? Should I end the relationship? Should I pursue a new relationship? We all faced difficult situations, we all made tough decisions. It is easy to make a decision when you have all the information, for example, the decision to exercise regularly.

But what if you had to decide whether or not to continue friendship, what if the other person in this situation did not give you their side of the story? Think judge Judy; we need facts from both sides, we need to see the bigger picture to make the educated decision. If we can’t see the bigger picture, the rule of thumb – do the right thing and you will never regret your decision. The asshole always loses at the end, don’t be an asshole in any situation.

Imagine you are a famous and wealthy athlete. Everybody knows you, tons of people vie for your friendship. It is hard to tell who is your friend for the right reasons until hard times come rolling in, and bunch of close friends disappear with your expensive sports memorabilia. Your friends betrayed you -that is a fact. Perhaps you should have chosen better friends. Was it a right thing to do to go with thugs and guns to get your stuff back?

Posted in humor

Beauty and the Beast or Why Women Should Not Chase After Men

This is for all my ladies. We achieved equal rights with men, we can do everything men can do, sometimes we can do it better :), but for as long as it is us, who bear children, few things we need to leave to men. One of them is courting a lover. I will demonstrate my point with the help of our favorite children’s story – Beauty and the Beast.

Gaston is the hottest guy in the village. Many women desire him, they follow him, they swoon, but Gaston is not interested. What is available too readily is rarely appreciated. There is only one woman who makes Gaston work for her affections – Belle. Gaston wants Belle and he would do anything to have her as his wife. Gaston thinks Belle secretly loves him and that is all the encouragement he needs.

Belle pays little attention to Gaston; she wants to achieve her dreams. Belle thinks there is more to life than being Mrs. Gaston.

Belle’s adventures begin when her father gets kidnaped by the Beast. The unfortunate event turns into a blessing in disguise. Belle and the Beast begin their relationship by being rude to each other. There is mutual mistrust. Then, slowly, Belle becomes sweet to the Beast and he is enchanted by her. He is encouraged by her tenderness. The Beast does the impossible for Belle, sacrifices everything. That is when Belle realizes his love is true and chooses to be with him.

Now imagine Belle saw Gaston at the bar, was intrigued, came up and asked for his phone number. What do you think would happen? What if Belle never gave the Beast opportunity to prove his love, perhaps he was never interested in her in the first place. What if Belle kept pushing herself onto the beast and “sacrificing” herself just in case he changed his mind one day and took her “seriously”.

Ladies, always play it smart. Never put yourself at disadvantage.

Posted in humor

Puss in Boots, or How Not to be Outsmarted

Bible is not the only book filled with wise advice. One of my favorite children’s story- “Puss in Boots” is a treasure trove of useful information. If you are unfamiliar with the story plot, don’t worry, you will find all you need to know here. Do you have a weakness? You have a problem.

The rich father, the mill owner and a businessman, dies and leaves his three children the inheritance: the eldest brother gets the business, the middle brother gets the transportation/the horsepower, the youngest son, I will call him Steve, gets only a cat. Let me pause here. Just imagine how pissed Steve must feel at this point! He loved his father, he worked hard and he got nothing.

Steve is a decent guy, he did not sue his brothers for his fair share of inheritance, he took the cat and made the best he could with what he had. The cat was a good friend; the only request the cat made (the cat was very interested in the latest fashion) was to have a brand new pair of fancy high heel boots. Steve did not have much money, but he bought the boots she wanted. Steve passed the cat’s test. If, as an employer/friend, Steve did not treat her right, if he was greedy or selfish, she would be out of the door in a flash. There had to be respect and mutual benefit – teamwork.

The cat in boots decided no horse was good enough for Steve, no business was good enough. Steve should be a king, marry a princess, and ride only in a royal carriage. As a royal cat, she could have more wonderful boots, plus royal delicatessens for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The cat began to plot and plan.

There was a king with a young beautiful daughter in the neighboring lands. Kings have a weakness-love for money and power. Give the king what he loves and you will open the door to his mind, soul and resources. Unfortunately, the cat did not have the money, but she hunted everyday and sent the king gifts of game each day under the name of Marquise of Carabas. The king became intrigued. This Marquise of Carabas must be rich and powerful! The king decided to meet the Marquise.

How could Marquise of Carabas receive king if he had no castle? Fortunately, there was an evil wizard in the village who lived in a magnificent castle. The wizard terrorized the poor folks, many heroes tried, but nobody could defeat the wizard.

The wizards have a weakness- they take themselves too seriously and think they are very important. The wizard thought he was the most knowledgeable wizard in the world. He became too cocky to the point of recklessness. The cat apparently admired the wizard a great deal. The cat wanted to acquire such knowledge and understanding, but first wanted a demonstration of wizard’s talent. Could the wizard transform himself in the smallest creature- a mouse? To prove his superiority the wizard turned into a mouse only to be swallowed by the clever cat.

Steve became the master of the castle. The cat explained she got lucky and won the castle in the lottery. The king with the daughter came to visit at once. The king was impressed by the richness of the castle. The princess was impressed by Steve’s good character. Soon they were married and lived happily after.

Of course it would be harder for the cat to figure out how to play the king or wizard if they decided to hide their weaknesses. But then again, nobody is clever enough to hide anything for long, sooner or later we open our mouths and drip the truth out.